Jun

29

Of Note

June 29, 2009 | 7 Comments

  • The boys are enjoying their newly shorn locks….especially Nat:

  • We’ve all settled into that place during summer vacation where we have to ask each other “What day is it?”
  • This weekend #2 saw a very, very skinny lady in the parking lot of a local store and said “I think she’s ambidextrous”….it took a minute or two to realize he meant anorexic.
  • We camped for a week and realized that we’re getting too fucking old to sleep on the ground, even with an air mattress.

Jun

12

Race

June 12, 2009 | 2 Comments

This is a rambling….stream of consciousness post. Thoughts I’ve had rolling around.

When I was little…like 8 years old till I graduated high school, my mom’s best friend was Judy*. I could never really figure out why they were such good friends because they didn’t seem to have a lot in common. Judy’s kids where much older than me (her daughter babysat me but mostly my much younger siblings). Her husband was a pig Veterinarian for DeKalb Agriculture; DeKalb Ag (the flying ear of corn) had their national headquarters in my home town and the company was a huge employer in my area. Harry was well regarded in his field and DeKalb Ag bred swine and chicken and sold the breeds to many, many countries. Harry was well regarded and held in high esteem.

Harry also had a penchant for telling racist jokes. But I was little and I didn’t know any better. I very much remember sharing one of those jokes with my classmates, during class, and although a few of my classmates (probablly 5th or 6th grade) may have chuckled, Mr. Strain surely did not. He didn’t say a word to me but his look spoke volumes. To be fair, Harry also told jokes about “Dagos”, “WOPs”, and “Chinks”.

I wonder, now, what he must have thought about my parents when they came in for parent/teacher conferences. After all, my parents never said such things but they certainly didn’t pull me aside, after Harry had left, to tell me that I’d better not ever repeat such a thing. I do remember my mom being surprised that another couple they were friends with was getting divorced…then she said “Italians make great lovers, maybe he’s loving too many.” (Kinda funny I ended up marrying a 2nd generation Italian boy, 16 years and going strong…I won’t comment on the ‘lover’ part!)

I grew up thinking that my parents were pretty cool, sort of hippies. They (along with another guy) owned rental property in our hometown and eventually sold the building to the black family that had lived in the bottom unit for years and years. Surely my parents weren’t racist. They had a black tenant.

My hometown was pretty small, my graduating class was about 180. We had more black kids in our class than my own kids do. In third grade, I wanted Mrs. Bridgewater for my teacher instead of Mrs. Kincaid…Mrs. Bridgewater is black…Mrs. Kincaid was just an old biddy. Becky and David were part of the circle of friends I ran around with. They are black; they were adopted by white families and had siblings of every color, too. Denise, Latonia, Dwight…they were friends as well. They weren’t part of the group I ran around with but I had classes with them and one is even a facebook friend. Race just didn’t seem an issue. My best friend in Jr. High was Patricia…she’s Korean. There were a couple boys, Aaron and Andy, who are Jewish…I don’t remember it being “a thing”.

I do remember senior year that there was a chance that David was going to ask me to prom. When my mom asked me if I thought I’d have a date, I said that David might ask me. He’d been my partner all through the “social dance” unit in P.E. that spring and we ran in the same group; he didn’t have a girlfriend, I didn’t have a boyfriend, it was a possibility (one that I wished was true…he was pretty freakin’ cute). All I know is that as soon as I mentioned the possibility of going to prom with David, my folks had an awful lot to say about the matter. And I was shocked.

I did my thing in college, had friends of every color, dated all sorts of boys, hung out on Greek Row and the bar scene. I got a kick out of the Alpha Phi Alpha’s making their pledges step in the MLK commons. I thought nothing of the Black Student Union or the Asian Studies stuff. To each his own.

I graduated and taught in the south suburbs of Chicago and spent time in Country Club Hills, University Heights, Oak Forest, Tinley Park, Orland Park, Robbins, Crestwood…the works. I lived at 159th and Cicero…far from being the inner-city, but it was certainly adjacent to some notoriously rough areas. I never, ever felt afraid. I visited friends in Wicker Park (before it became a cool place to be) and hung out with one of my college girls who lived in Rodgers Park (when it was still, very much, gang heavy). My Puerto Rican BFF taught me how to say “Don’t fuck with me” in spanish and all was good.

It’s only been in the last couple years of my 3rd decade and the first year of my 4th that I’ve ever, every felt the weight of race on a community. Maybe I’ve been living blind. Maybe having children who are finally old enough to understand and be heavily influenced by their peers am I more acutely aware. I don’t think so.

My oldest, Sam, has a friend - who’s been a friend since not long after we moved here - who’s friendship he’s reconsidering. This boy Jack* is a smart kid and comes from a normal family. Sam reports that Jack makes all sorts of (in his words) stupid comments all the time. Stuff like “quit being a Jew” and stuff like that. He also makes sexist comments. Sam’s come home week after week and shared how much it bothers him when his friend says that shit. We’ve talked about how letting this boy say those things without anyone calling him on it is tacit approval. My son assures us that he tells his ‘friend’ to knock it off and has even began to distance himself from this boy.

Sam’s also noticed that the couple of boys who are really good athletes and also not white seem to have a greater leeway in terms of behavior and he’s wondered if teachers are afraid to call these boys on their behavior because of their athletic status. In fact, Sam’s said “If I said some of the things ______ says I’d get in big trouble because I’m not a jock.”

Unfortunately, we happen to live in a county that is notoriously racist (Matt Hale) and I think that may weigh heavily on the minds of school administrators. Maybe a couple of these boys get “a pass” because they’re athletes. Maybe they get a pass because they’re one of a handful of minority kids in a predominantly white, racist county. Maybe it’s a little bit of both.

What I notice most are the little, seemingly inconsequential things that people say. The off handed remarks about the “South End” of Peoria. Or when my students talk about seeing a black kid walking through Pekin (a town around here with a bad reputation). Sometimes I hear people say “They”….like “THEY” know better than to live in Tazewell County.

Or when I hear someone say “THEY” are ’so sexual’ they way ‘they’ dance and talk. I know my peers are only reacting to the way they’ve been brought up. And as I write these sentences I know there’s a very good chance that people will read this and know I’m recounting things I’ve heard them say. They should know that I’m proud that they are more aware of the things they say…I really don’t think people are inherently bad for thoughts and feelings they’ve lived with forever. Really.

I, not so long ago, pointed out that on a form where respondents need to identify race (for state recording purposes) that the term “mixed” might be offensive. One night Mr. Rix and I met some friends for drinks at a local watering hole. Mr. Rix left early and my good friend offered to drive me home. Her fiance (who isn’t white) opted to sit in the backseat of the care as she drove me up Rt. 116 because we knew there was a police checkpoint and he felt we’d have less a chance of being stopped if he slunk down in his seat as we passed through it. Seeing as he’s lived here his whole life, I believed him. But that whole experience as well as a couple other things involving my good buddy make me know that he’s much wiser than I.

I don’t know if race relations are worse in my new home or if I’ve somehow become more attuned. We’ve only lived here for 3 1/2 years and maybe my contact with the greater community is limited. But I noticed very early on that things are different here compared to the other communities in which I’ve lived.

And I think it’s pretty fucking shitty.

*Names may or may not have been changed.

Jun

10

The First Cut is the Deepest * X2

June 10, 2009 | 11 Comments

#2 has been itching for a mohawk since the last week of school. His BFF came to school with one and #2 thought it was way cool.

So today we did the deed.

Here are the before are the before and afters.

I think it turned out really cute. Woops, I mean handsome.

Now #1 is contemplating doing the same thing.

Update….#1went for it and cut his too:

Too short for “Locks of Love”…and he didn’t want to give it 3 more inches.

It’s going to take some getting used to.

Jun

8

Happy Monday

June 8, 2009 | 5 Comments

At least it’s going to be for SOMEONE!

The dude behind me in line at our local superstore had 4 things to purchase:

Listerine

Hair Color for Men

2 bottles of 5 Hour Energy Boost

Personal Lubrication

Who says Monday’s have to be lame?

Jun

5

Fishing

June 5, 2009 | 2 Comments

We tried to do that today.

See? Mr. Rix caught me a delicious bass. It doesn’t quite reach the bottom of his untucked t-shirt (the gold standard for fish size).

I took that picture, turned around to put the camera on the picnic table and grab my pole (huh, huh) and Mr. Rix says “SHIT. I just cut my leg, can you hand me something?”.

I tossed him a towel expecting a scrape. Nope, it’s a gaping puncture wound.

So we had to leave.

He always has to make sure he catches the biggest fish.

(And, of course, he requested the nurse’s outfit once we got home.)

May

31

PABA’s

May 31, 2009 | 14 Comments

I’m here to announce the first ever “Peoria Area Blogger Awards”.

I can’t believe no one ever thought of this before. Maybe they did. I also need a nifty little graphic button to go along with these here awards, so someone needs to get on that.

At this time, I am accepting nominations as well as catagory names. I know lots and lots of bloggers in the area and am proud to call them friend, but there are probably a lot more I’ve never met.

Now, remember, these awards are all in fun and it’s always an honor just to me nominated.

Here are some catagories I have in mind:

Best Looking blogger….based entirely on the picture posted on their “About Me” page

Funniest Blogger

Blogger I need a Dictionary to Keep Up With

The “Keep Me Out of It” Blogger

Biggest Ego Blogger

Blogger with the Foulest Mouth

Best Mommyblogger

Blogger Most Likely to be a Serial Killer (past, present or future)

Most Self-Important Blogger (that could also go to the Blogger with the Biggest Ego…)

Anyway, these are just a few. So, let’s open this up for categories, first. Post your category possibilities in the comments section…anonymous posts are welcome, IP addresses will not be divulged.

(And I’m totally serious….)

Nominations will follow

May

31

Dear Peoria Pundit,

May 31, 2009 | 10 Comments

We’ve frittered away a day. And what a gorgeous day it was. I spent the better part of it repotting plants, sweeping my deck and my patio. I helped my children make lemonade and watched my oldest son help my husband mow the yard.

My youngest son slept very late today because he was up late at a slumber party the night before.

I cleaned my cat’s litter box and played fetch with my dog.

I payed bills, phoned friends and family.

I planted more vegetables in the containers we bought at the garden store yesterday. My youngest and I had already planted peas, beans and tomatos…all that was left was radishes.

As a family, we saw a good 3-D movie yesterday. After the movie, we all enjoyed a great meal of pasta…my husband and my son put the sauce together in the morning and it cooked all day.

All the windows in the house were open today and there was a wonderful breeze throughout the house. I spent a couple hours reading on the swing that sits on my deck.

Unfortunately, my husband had to work (it is his Sunday to work this month) but we did spend time together before he left. As usual, he gave me a nice smooch before he went to work and we agreed that we wished he could stay home.

Later, I cooked dinner for my children and a neighbor boy ate with us, too. We had chicken breasts and a nice salad and the lemonade we’d made earlier.

Once the sun set, the boys took the trash out for their dad so he wouldn’t have to get up extra early.

There were a couple things that almost ruined the day for me, but you know what? None of that matters. It was a good day in the “real” world.

In fact, it was a really, really beautiful day.

May

27

Name

May 27, 2009 | 6 Comments

I’ve had some doozies hurled my way since I started teaching at the alternative school.

Today, though, was the best. So far.

A young man was sharing with me that he aspires to spend his adulthood in the World Series of Poker and make 12 Millioin Dollars.

I suggested that by bombing 7th grade math this semester, he didn’t bring himself any closer to that goal.

He did not agree.

In fact, he called me:

The Cunt Who Pissed on His Dream

It’s the last day of school….my mom always told me that good things come to those who wait. She was totally right.

May

24

Shit

May 24, 2009 | 8 Comments

Dear Friends,

I don’t know how this happened.

As of October 2009, I’ll have lived here in the greater Peoria area for 4 years. By some bizarre twist of kismet I’ve made some of the most amazing friends.

The whole notion of me making new and close friends is fucked up because normally I shy away from people. But somehow I’ve found myself surrounded at work and especially at play with wonderful, kind, loving, intelligent and insightful individuals who make me laugh everyday.

I just thought you should know.

Notoriously Abrasively Yours,

Rix

May

20

Miracle on George Street

May 20, 2009 | 4 Comments

I hereby attest that all I am about to write is true. I have many witnesses (several of whom wish a video tape was running so that we’d be in the running for 100K on America’s Funniest Home Video.)

I have to give a little back story….

Back story part one: A good friend donated a butt load of Christmas decorations and other school supplies for my school, back near the actual holiday. Included in the donation were several children’s books. I held on to the books and stuck ‘em in a bag for another good friend. The bag was in the back of my “Scooby” van for months. Then when we purchased our new van, I just moved the bag to the back of the NEW van.

Back story part two: #2 son is an animal lover and received a small fishtank for Christmas last year. He’s had several fish (goldfish) but as is the case with goldfish, they don’t stick around long. We came to call his aquarium “The Tank of Doom”. We told him that once the last fish died, he could give reptiles a try. (We had a 4′ iguana named Angus up until #1 was born).

Of course, once we made that edict, the last fish wouldn’t die. WOULD NOT DIE. “Tom” hung around forever. We finally decided that Tom should go and live at Grandpa Ron’s house in his little fish pond.

Now for the real story.

We were at my parents last weekend and dropped Tom into his new environs. He was quite happy. #2 was happy because now this means that he can get a little lizard for his room

Well, I remembered that those books were in my van and since my little nephews were visiting, too, I decided to see if Drew and Lou would like any of them. As I’m going through the bag of books (that’s been in one car or another since December), I notice that there’s a little plastic lizard in the bag. So, to be silly, I picked up the lizard and sorta went “OH! There’s a lizard in the bag” to freak the little ones out.

They didn’t notice the ‘plastic’ lizard so I reached over to grab it and IT WAS ALIVE!!!!! It was a real, live lizard. It started running across the carpet. I screamed, my sister screamed, my brother jumped up and put his foot on it to keep it from running away.

So, if you’re following…. we told #2 that he couldn’t have a lizard until we got rid of his fish Tom and on THE SAME DAY we gave Tom to Grandpa, we FOUND A LIZARD.

#2 was sure that this was a Miracle.